and your dream of becoming the next american idol ends here

so the show starts off with the usual seacrest and judges’ banter:

ryan asks if the voting should be affected by the fact that some contestants have previous stage experience. paula chimes in that it shouldn’t matter. if the contestants are smart, this shouldn’t be their first foray into the entertainment business.

and i agree. she’s right. if they aren’t bringing it already by the time they get to the top 24, then they don’t deserve to win.

***

they cut to an introduction of the top 24 by showing a group montage makes me pray that luke menard doesn’t get voted off tonight. he's kinda h-a-w-t!

***

the guys open the show with everytime you walk in the room and most of them look so dweeby. the sixties look does not suit the majority of them and, um, could they have picked a cheesier song to open the show with.

then the girls join in with a rose in spanish harlem where the girls rocked it better than the guys and they looked way cuter.

in one shot they focus on asia'h and something about her is starting to bug me already. then there's a shot of alaina whitaker who is so going after this year’s carrie underwood position. you could almost swear it was carrie from far away.

and then they mix it up with turn on the night which sadly they didn’t. a few stood out, but altogether, it was a cold flaccid mess. not exciting at all. i guess everyone is just scared witless about getting voted off and it shows.

***

now on to the real business at hand: let the eliminations begin!

the men’s performances are recapped reminding me that i should be right about who the bottom four are.

ryan calls out garrett haley and starts up some chitchat with him making it seem he might be safe and then he just blurts out that garrett is done. buh-bye! and then they do the ritual sing-off where they force garrett to sing the song that he already failed to impress america with. and it does him no favors. he sounded worse than the first time.

although i didn’t have him pegged as one of my bottom four i wasn’t entirely surprised. i just thought that the older ladies contingency would have voted to save him; you know, all the grandmas.

***

then, the ladies’ performances are recapped.

after having seen what happened to garrett, kristy lee cook is scared to be called out first but ryan says she’s safe, which is surprising to me since she was in my bottom two.

then he announces that amy davis is done. buh-bye! definitely the worst of last night’s performances. she was one of my bottom two picks.

so they make her sing and it is just a sloppy wet mess! makes you wonder how she even got this far.

***

randy and paula are put on the spot about their collaboration. cut to paula‘s video of randy's song, dance like there’s no tomorrow. the song's not horrible, but it could have been a song that rihanna, janet or even britney could easily have pulled off. but kudos to paula and randy for trying to resurrect paula's career, um, i guess.

remember the song from the superbowl? no? well, here's a clip of it just to remind you.



***

back to the girls:

ryan calls out joanne borgella and amanda overmyer and tells the rest of the girls that they are safe. what!?! amanda overmyer? now that’s just cruel. it’s gonna be joanne that goes buh-bye, right!?! i pegged joanne as a bottom four performer. and i’m always right about these things. well, except for when i missed garrett being one of the bottom two guys and when i thought for sure that kristy lee cook was leaving. so outside of those two, i’ve been good with my predictions. hehehe...

so ryan recaps the judges’ comments on both their performances. he turns to amanda and scares her shitless but relieves her by telling her she’s safe.

it’s too bad that joanne let her nerves get the better of her. she has a very soothing voice and she can sing. and better than some of the other girls who somehow remained safe.

***

then back to the guys to find out which other contestant would have his dreams of stardom crushed by the voting public.

so ryan calls out chikezie and colton. both of whom i picked to be in my bottom four. see? i do know how to pick’em.

the recap of the judges’ comments are rehashed and then colton is told buh-bye! he wants to cry. poor thing! then simon acts like an ass and tells him he’ll never make it as a singer. and with that said, i still believe chikezie needs to bring it next week.

***

cut to the montage of the losers saying how wonderful it was to be on american idol and how music is the thing that makes their lives worth living blah blah blah, er, um, or something like that. who really listens to that anyway?...and don't judge me. you know you don't care either.

***

then colton sings the show into the credits. i suppose he wasn’t that bad but america has voted and whatever i feel about him now doesn’t mean jack. anyway, my top four guys and top four girls are still in it to win it and that’s all that matters. at least until next week.

***

and speaking of idols, jordin sparks just released a collaboration with chris brown. now if that isn't trying to jump on someone else's coattails...her management people are smart.

no air, jordin sparks feat. chris brown